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My sweet, wonderful, amazing best-friend-of-a-mother passed away on Mother’s Day.

To say that I am sad would be the understatement of a lifetime. I’m crushed. My heart is broken. I am worried about my dad. I am worried about my brothers. I am angry that I only got 27 years with her. I am baffled that she went from healthy, to ill, to gone in the matter of two months. I am sick with the thought that Adrienne is too young to be able to remember how wonderful she was. I am dreading the moment I wake up and forget she’s gone and reach for my phone to call her like I do every morning. I dread walking into my parents house and not hearing her sweet voice say hey sugar when I walk in the door. My soul hurts.

But I’m also grateful. Grateful that she was my mom and best friend. Grateful I got twenty-seven years with her. Grateful that she and my dad were blissfully married for 45 years. Grateful that she got to hold my hand while Adrienne was born. Grateful she was in this world for one year of Adrienne’s life. Grateful she left a mark on so many people’s hearts. Grateful I got to lay in bed with her for the last five hours of her life. Grateful that she’s not suffering anymore. Grateful that she got to see her mama (her daddy, her son, her friends, her family, and Jesus) on mother’s day. Grateful that I will someday see her again.

But mostly, I’m just missing her.

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